Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Me aT A Limbo

All my life (as far as I can remember) I didn't have any hard decisions to make, until now. I'm working as an English Teacher in one of the English Course in Jakarta. I love my job, because it's a dream come true. Since I was at the university, I knew I want to be an english teacher.
I have to say it wasn't an easy road to become one. It took me 3 years from my graduation year until I finally got the job. Alhamdulillaah everything went perfectly fine, until now.
Here's why: one of my colleague who worked as an administrator is going to resign because she's going to have a baby. And, my boss wants me to replace her. I know...I know......it's not a big problem, all I have to do is say yes and take the job. The thing is, I might not teach anymore if I be an administrator. I have to work behind the desk and deal with a lot of papers.
Everyone included my best friend (who also is my colleague) wants me to take the position, even my parents say go for it, but I don't know why I feel at a limbo. I feel I belong in the class not behind the desks. I don't deny that I'm afraid to lose my job if I don't take the administrator postion, but I don't want to deny my own feeling too. I don't want to disappoint other people if I don't take the job, but I don't want to do something I don't like.
I have tried to do "Istikharah prayer" and speak with my heart, what does it want. I know actually somewhere deep in my heart I already have the answer. I'm just afraid to say it out loud.

6 comments:

.:nien:. said...

Jeung, kasusmu itu adalah kebalikan dari kasusku. The good thing is bahwa dirimu mau mencoba sedangkan diriku sudah positively from the very bottom of my heart, I said NO. Spent days being stress out over this. As long as we know what we want ... just do it!

metty said...

Yaya, here is an advice:
Go to where your heart is.

Nahria Medina Marzuki said...

Dear Metty,I will go wherever my heart goes.For Nien...knp ya kita kok serupa tp tak sama ya?

combaTanz said...

hmmm..?!

combaTanz said...

Allah telah menciptakan program utk manusia dalam Al Qur'an. Disebutkan bahwa orang beriman adalah yang tidak bingung & tidak sedih hati. Kalau kamu bingung, berarti SUDAH BERIMANKAH KAMU?? Sudahkah kamu menjemput keinginannya?? Jangan berdo'a terus, do something!!

Nahria Medina Marzuki said...

makasih yaaa udah diingetin.Btw, I've made my decision about this and InsyaAllah this is the best solution. Amin...